how is this done? how is one supposed to leave everything they have become accustomed to for the past 365 days & make this drastic change (leave my bb behind?). hmm. i guess i asked myself the exact same thing at the other end of my mat leave - how do people do this? have a child - change the many years of carefree life for a future of being depended on & putting yourself last? the thing is - i can hardly remember anything else but this life.
bb boy is 11 months old today! he has changed so much but there are little things that are him that have been him since the beginning... the way he sees with his hands - he touches everything - when he is nursing he searches for my hand - touches my fingers, my palm, my wrist (like he knows who he touches & how to find comfort)... he listens to every sound (from his first hours in the hospital he held his head up cocked, his eyes (seeing so poorly then - were wide open) now he bobs his head to music, to the repetitive hum of a boat or the tweeting of nearby birds & he grins widely.
where is dada?
where is kitty?
where is hunter?
where is the bird?
he looks around expectantly until he finds exactly what is looking for & he grins widely (i cheer)... how can i leave him when there is so much more for him to learn (& so much more for me to understand & so much more for me to cheer)?
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1 comment:
i still ask myself that question every day, and my twin girls start 1st grade on monday. i took a 6 month maternity leave and never really wanted to go back, but *sigh*, such is life when you have to pay the mortgage. :-) found your blog through shutter sisters. kelly
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