what's in a number

today i lay in bed - it was 5 am

my bb boy was awake & crying for the 3rd time in 3 hours

i knew something was bothering him so i didn't take it personally

i thought of stuff - like 'hey it's april 30th and officially my birthday'

though only i am aware of that at the moment

it is hard to believe i am 45 that number used to seem so far away

and now i'm here with a 7.5 month old baby

there are only 116 days of mat leave remaining

time ticks by so quickly

i don't feel any different than i did when i was 26 (random number)

other than some aches & pains that i'm not sure can be addressed by rub a535

and perhaps a attitude of gratefulness that i have not had before

it is now 10am bb boy is sleeping bb daddy has cleaned the condo

the sun is shining! i have time to take a shower...

& i will take the new age on happily - yay 45 yay bliss

been waiting for this

well not 'waiting' really, just hoping each spring (if i remember that the tulips are coming) or cursing myself each may (when i forget). i have known about the la conner tulip festival for years (maybe 16 years since my sister lived on whidbey island) & have always wanted to see it. in fact, i have taken the trip twice only to arrive too late (who's to know that tulips don't actually follow the perrenial dates of the festival itself & the festival doesn't follow the tulips...)

so we made it this year!

& was a perfect day!

just be patient

i have been waiting for this moment: [1] to wear an emma bracefield ring on my finger [2] for my true love to put it there... ah sweet patience... tnb and i first saw emma @ circle craft exhibition (just as the idea of marriage was becoming a reality). we both loved her name (right out of jane austen)!  & her work was so lovely: contemporary yet - organic (like a found object i would have taken from the beach and treasured) & wearable (pieces move together like they grew to fit my finger)...

love love love...

it doesn't have to be pretty

i am back on caffeine. i don't ever go crazy - no 5 cups of office brew a day or anything - i just need ONE good cappuccino. it is remarkable how difficult it is to find that one good cappuccino - scalded milk, bubbly foam, burned beans, bad ratios... i don't think i'm being too critical - i want lovely rich espresso (not the stuff that bites you), melted together with nice hot whole milk (not scalding & not skim), then luscious foamy foam (not those harsh bubbles) in the top half of the cup (not the top 1/8th not the top 1/4). 

i'm obsessing. in a town with a starbucks on practically every corner you'd think everyone would try harder to get it right...

at cafe artigiano the other day the barrista actually winked at me as i was standing waiting (perhaps i looked fearful); he said: "don't worry it is going to be so pretty." "it doesn't have to be pretty", i said, "it just has to be delicious" (i didn't snap at him & i didn't snear).  i need a nap.

   

take me back

this is kind of fun: one of my photos was picked out of flickr & was selected for inclusion in the newly released seventh edition of the Schmap Montreal Guide. it is a pretty basic snapshot - of the amazing auberge 'Pierre du Calvet':

this is the maplet for schmap:

photo baking - please stand by

took the family for a walk today -- back to jennifer kostuik gallery to see one of my favorite photographers diane bos. i'm not exactly sure why i love her work - it just moves me: depth of colour, romance, the locations & i love the mechanics of it (set up camera, let bake, see what happens). how cool is pin hole photography?? of course this is a rhetorical question! 

she was kind enough to show us a couple of her older pieces so i could explain to my family why i was so enthralled. one of my favs - a window in versailles. she sat there for 15 minutes or so with the camera open - waiting for the light to melt it's way onto the negative, waiting for the colours to saturate & the story to build. at some point a man walked up & sat down beside her - right in the middle of what was to be her image - she thought all was lost. 30 seconds or so later - he got up & walked away (leaving only his ghost in the photo) & making it all the more magical. 

152 days & counting

baby boy is 7 months old today! his dad and i agree (it happens) that it feels like he has been 6 months old forever (scooting, almost crawling, standing, eating peas & carrots & bananas) ... 

we are having so much fun with him yet everyone who has an older baby or child says 'it just gets better' (of course they also say 'oh - that's such a wonderful stage - enjoy  every minute it changes so fast'). we are nostalgic about what ever time has passed - oohing over the cries of the newborn baby across the hall, & kissing & hiding away a too small sleeper like it is part of him we will never see again...

i rue the day i pack up my bags & head back to the office...